Another Year...Another Decade!

It's one o'clock in the morning so my birthday is officially over. This was a big one. At approximately eight o'clock this morning I left the twenties forever and joined the thirty club. It's been ... exciting. LoL I've been on and off freaking out about this for some time now...about two years. lol And now it's here. 

I'm not completely freaked out though. There's a part of me that's truly excited. I'm proud of thirty. Thankful to be here. I've worked hard for thirty! My twenties were hard. There were some crazy highs but some dark lows too. They were, in many ways, easier than my teens but still brought their own share of life lessons. And I didn't always learn them gracefully or easily. I worked. I fought. I failed. I learned. I dealt. I stumbled. I grew. 

I think the hardest part about thirty, the part that freaked me out a little bit, is that my social status isn't what I thought it would be at thirty. Married. Husband. Children. Ya know... But what's a social status? Just that. And it actually holds no bearing on my value. My value lies in Christ and He loved me enough to die for me. My position isn't what I thought it would be. Instead it's Auntie to a handful of amazing nieces. It's servant and co-laborer of the Lord. It's Miss Sarah to a bunch of bouncing babies in my church nursery. It's youth worker to some of the craziest, awesomest teens in North Platte (or anywhere!). And those are just brief descriptions of some of the most fulfilling moments of my life. Is thirty what I thought it would be? No. But it's what God thought it would be and that's better than any plan I could have conceived of. And now I can't wait to see what He has in store for the thirties! :-)

Nap time!

Two days a week I am a full time-stay at home auntie. While I help out with my nieces the other days of the week these two days are "my" days to take care of the girls while mama is working and going to school. I love my nieces more than anyone will ever know. They are the light, pride, and joys of my life and mean more to me than my own life. And boy do they know how to wear me out! LoL I'm getting what I believe to be a small taste of motherhood....and it's as tiring as it is amazing! Take nap time for example....

Stayed up late so when 1 year old is bright eyed and yelling before 8, I'm not. I get up anyway though cuz that's what you do (and if I don't then she'll be waking up 4 year old before she's done with her beauty sleep!). We eat, shower, and play and before long 4 year old is up. I'm being held together by prayer and praise music at this point though I'm still managing to be productive! One year old morning naps. Back up and now it's after noon and nap time again! Babies are sleeping so time for a cat nap for me too! But even though I was exhausted moments before, as soon as four eyes are closed in sleep....mine pop open and will NOT stay closed! What is it about those moments that are so enticing??? Suddenly I feel as if I can do anything! The possibilities are endless! I could work on that baby blanket that I want done by Sat (and isn't even close to done); I could do the dishes without baby girl hands pulling out all of the Tupperware; I could read my Bible without stopping a catastrophe every other word; I could mop the floor which hasn't been done in ....... a while; I could bake something yummy; I could pick up the living room and just sit in it's cleaness; I could be insanely idle and watch an auntie show; I could pick up a book for the first time in months; I could finish getting dressed! I contemplate the many tempting options.....and decide to blog about it all instead. Haha! But time those moments will be over soon and then I'll be cuddling, feeding, changing, and saving sweet girls from eating/doing something they shouldn't so I'm gonna go do one or two of those things on that list real quick! Enjoy your moments today!

The One Thing I Know

These days I don't know anything. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to NOT think/say/do! I don't know how all of this is going to work out. Or if it's going to. I don't know my right from my left. I don't know what He's doing. Or why He's doing it. I don't know if I'll be able to last another day. I just don't know. But the one thing I do know is Romans 8:28: "And we KNOW that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." I KNOW that if I'll just follow Him, one baby step at a time, it WILL all work out. And this one thing I know is enough to get me through all of the 101 things that I don't know.

Just say No??

So like most women out there, I have a very hard time saying no to people. Friends, family, enemies....lol If you ask me to do something, I feel morally obligated to say yes. But that's finally starting to change. I'm realizing it's healthy and good (GOOD??) to say no sometimes! Yes, I believe the Bible when it says, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." but I'm realizing that it is FALSE to believe that that means I have to always say yes. It does say "also" on the things of others. So there are times when I need to and can say no. And believe it or not, I do! Every once in awhile. ;-) Like last Saturday? I had committed to do some freezing and such with my mom but then was asked to help out a girlfriend in my church. I was so torn! To tears! lol Yes, I am one of those emotional women lol But then it suddenly became clear, I had made a previous commitment. So I couldn't do the requested task. Case closed! Amazing how simple it is sometimes.....lol
So, just a little reminder that you don't have to meet every bodies needs. You can't! That's God's job. And yes, sometimes He does that through us. But sometimes He does it through someone else. Let them be/get a blessing too ;-)

Her Messiness - That's Me!

"Life is the messy bits". This is one of my all time favorite quotes. So when I was trying to decide what to call my new blog and what to talk about in it, this seemed to be the obvious answer.

We all have our own version of how our perfect life should be. I do! And I'm finding that it's anything but that. LoL 

My perfect life was marry my perfect man, be a perfect wife, have perfect kids, be a perfect mom, have a perfect life! News flash....it didn't happen that way lol Instead.... I am the full time pianist at my church(which means services, choir, ladies ensemble, ladies quartet, funerals, and everything in between that someone might need...I should be practicing right now...), nursery coordinator of our booming nursery (you'd be surprised at the issues I have to mediate there-I need to have another meeting soon...), part of the janitorial team, full time youth worker (which means helping plan, prepare, and pull off weekly events and more), part time photographer (though I am a cameraless photographer at the moment....need to get on that), piano teacher (my piano really, REALLY needs tuning), in home volunteer (not even going to elaborate on what's been going on there), full time auntie to my two adorable, wonderful, ornery, live in nieces (closest thing to parenting I've experienced and it has taught me. A lot.), stay at home daughter who can NOT keep the kitchen clean for a household of nine (no matter how hard I try!), sister, daughter, friend, and still waiting for the Lord to point out my Mr Right. Yeah....I think that covers the high points! And like most women, even though I truly love every part of this, I feel like a failure on a lot of it.....a lot of the time. 

So this is me. Me learning how to love the messy bits. Me learning IN the messy bits. Me seeing if that was a spider I felt in my bed....okay, no! We're good! LoL Me learning to take life one messy bit at a time. Me learning that my life isn't perfect....it's better than any perfect I could have imagined.

So ...... do you wanna join in my messiness?